What the hare said to the tortoise – a tale of communication skills

You’re probably familiar with Aesop’s fable about the tortoise who challenges the hare to a race, only for the hare to take a nap half way through, wake up too late and find his shell carrying opponent already across the finish line.

Over the centuries, there have been many interpretations of the moral of that story, but what does that tale of two unlikely rivals tell us about communication skills?

The hare and the cold caller

In Aesop’s fable, the hare sets off at a fast pace and soon leaves the tortoise behind. Thinking that there was no chance of the tortoise catching it, the hare unwisely decides to get some beauty sleep.

In real life, that ‘I’m invincible’ approach can come across in many different guises. One that might really get your goat (no animal pun intended) is receiving telephone calls from cold callers who decide to launch into their sales patter at 100 miles an hour, without giving you a chance to get a word in edgeways!

The perceived aim of fast communication

The aim of the cold caller might be to talk so quickly, that once they have given themselves the luxury of resting their vocal chords, their target buyer will be so run into the ground that they will be unable to resist a purchase.

Whilst that tactic might sometimes work with the unwary,  the cold caller resting their vocal chords could be seen as synonymous with Aesop’s hare falling asleep and not expecting to be overtaken by the tortoise. That’s because the ‘tortoise’ on the other end of the phone is often completely alive to the hare’s sales strategy and is able to quickly nip it in the bud by crossing the finishing line before the hare, politely ending the call and putting the phone down.

However, with fast communication so prevalent in modern life through text messages, social media and email, the risk of coming across like a ‘hare-type’ sales person is always there, which may sadly lead to later regret and the ‘I wish I had worded that message differently’.

The beauty of ‘tortoise-type’ communication

On the other hand, the tortoise method of communication takes a completely different approach.

In Aesop’s fable, the tortoise knew where the finishing line was, but it wasn’t concerned about how or when the hare was going to get there. It had the self-assurance to stick to its own guns and get there at its own speed, following its own well thought out strategy.

Translating that into communication style, a measured and well thought out approach to communication always comes across far better than bulldozing your audience’s ears. Many of the world’s greatest speakers are able to communicate in a way that sounds natural, confident and self-assured, because they have worked long and hard at practising and refining it, allowing them to portray the message that they really want to get across to their audience.

In turn, that communication style is more likely to make a listener trust the speaker and in turn, facilitate a more natural and  honest conversation – and in turn, better relationships.

Talking is only part of communication

The real challenge to effective communication however, doesn’t lie just in how fast or slow we speak, but in listening too.

In reading Aesop’s fable, one has to question why the tortoise had to challenge the hare to a race in the first place? If the hare had the self-awareness to appreciate that its ridiculing of the tortoise was bullying (and hurting) him, perhaps there would have been no need for the race to take place?

So, perhaps the true moral of Aesop’s fable is one of how better and well thought out communication can prevent the needless hurt and suffering that seeking oneupmanship brings. By listening not just through our ears, but through our sense of when humans might be hurting, we can become more aware of our behaviour. And in doing so, that awareness can influence for the better, how we communicate and build more effective relationships with one another.

Of course, we all like to be able to ‘get things done’ and quick communication can be useful – however, there is a time and a place for that. But regularly stopping to think and listen usually leads to better and more constructive and effective conversations. And taking a little bit of time to remain still and silent both before and during conversations can play a huge part in providing the space for that to happen.

As humans, we are all different and like the hare and the tortoise, we will all get to the finish line in our own time. However, what really matters, isn’t how fast or loud we talk, but helping each other to all get across the finish line in one piece.